While the material circumstances of people have been improved sharply, the mental values showed a tendency to become marginalized. However, there is no doubt that love is the greatest and most powerful one among a variety of emotional values. The importance of love has been emphasized throughout the human's history. Mahatma Gandhi(1869 - 1948) said that "the power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent than the one derived from fear of punishment." Also, Jim Morrison mentioned about love like this - "...That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is." The power of love makes people unbelievably stronger, inspired, incredibly happy, deathly sorrowful, and even takes their lives or murder others. Undeniably, love exerts a strong influence on human. Even love can "transcends dimensions of time and space", just as Dr. Brand said. Though it "is not something we invented", "it's observable, it's powerful." Therefore, I think that people should know how to cultivate the emotion to the true meaning by practicing it, not considering it as a temporarily consumed type.
Nonetheless, most contemporary men do not seem to know how to love someone a long while and desirable. They tend not to be able to improve the emotion of love, and the tendency of the people is taking it lightly. According to an article about social indicator in Korea, (2002) divorce rate in Korea is three times more than ten years ago. Under this circumstance, I suggest that in order to love someone successfully, you should keep these two terms: to keep pace with your lover, and to communicate constantly with him. This essay analyzes why you should keep pace with your lover scientifically. Then it explores the necessity of communication, proper conversational skills.
What will be used mainly in this essay were formed by Einstein, a German-born theoretical physicist and philosopher of science. He received the 1921 Nobel Prize in Physics "for his services to theoretical physics, and especially for his discovery of the law of the photoelectric effect". Also, his intellectual achievements and originality have made the word "Einstein" synonymous with genius.
Relationship is not formed only with passion and love of either only one side, and the absence of communication and care toward each other exacerbates it. Love for one another should be done at the same time, and if it does not pass to each other, relationship cannot be developed into a preferred relationship.
The problem is that people do not love each other at the same time. They tend to believe that they are in love with one another in the contemporary period. Of course, it is just illusion. In accordance with Einstein’s “Theory of Relativity”, as I mentioned, two events, simultaneous for one observer, may not be simultaneous for another observer if the observers are in relative motion(Relativity of simultaneity). The phenomenon is related to time dilation, in which moving clocks are measured to tick more slowly than an observer's "stationary" clock. And in his vision of the universe, the laws of physics are the same for all observers in uniform motion relative to one another(principle of relativity).
Let's apply this theoretical information to the romantic relationship. When it is applied on actual practical life, it emphasizes the necessity of keeping pace with each other. The 'pace' here can be applied on anything in real life. Starting from speed of a physical step, to the rate of all mental communion, to the timing of marriage and sex, in each field, if either one is faster or cannot keep up with the speed of the other side, their love is unable to be present at the same time anymore. Misaligned love flows the parallel line, and the arrow of love toward each other can not reach them.
Let's take a look at the lyrics accentuating the importance of keeping pace with one another.
What will be used mainly in this essay were formed by Einstein, a German-born theoretical physicist and philosopher of science. He received the 1921 Nobel Prize in Physics "for his services to theoretical physics, and especially for his discovery of the law of the photoelectric effect". Also, his intellectual achievements and originality have made the word "Einstein" synonymous with genius.
Following excerpts from an article about Einstein's Theory of General Relativity provides brief information about the theory of relativity.
In 1905, Albert Einstein determined that the laws of physics are the same for all non-accelerating observers, and that the speed of light in a vacuum was independent of the motion of all observers. This was the theory of special relativity. It introduced a new framework for all of the physics and proposed new concepts of space and time.Here the concepts:
1. Relativity of simultaneity: Two events, simultaneous for one observer, may not be simultaneous for another observer if the observers are in relative motion.
2. Time dilation: Moving clocks are measured to tick more slowly than an observer's "stationary" clock.
3. The laws of physics are the same for all observers in uniform motion relative to one another (principle of relativity).I have provided the brief theoretical background of my thesis.
I have provided the brief theoretical background of my thesis. From now on, I will build my ideas on these concepts.
The problem is that people do not love each other at the same time. They tend to believe that they are in love with one another in the contemporary period. Of course, it is just illusion. In accordance with Einstein’s “Theory of Relativity”, as I mentioned, two events, simultaneous for one observer, may not be simultaneous for another observer if the observers are in relative motion(Relativity of simultaneity). The phenomenon is related to time dilation, in which moving clocks are measured to tick more slowly than an observer's "stationary" clock. And in his vision of the universe, the laws of physics are the same for all observers in uniform motion relative to one another(principle of relativity).
Let's apply this theoretical information to the romantic relationship. When it is applied on actual practical life, it emphasizes the necessity of keeping pace with each other. The 'pace' here can be applied on anything in real life. Starting from speed of a physical step, to the rate of all mental communion, to the timing of marriage and sex, in each field, if either one is faster or cannot keep up with the speed of the other side, their love is unable to be present at the same time anymore. Misaligned love flows the parallel line, and the arrow of love toward each other can not reach them.
Let's take a look at the lyrics accentuating the importance of keeping pace with one another.
Don't think that I'm not interested / I'm just playing hard to getI know that you've been calling me / And I'm happy that we met
so could you be my best friend / Before you call yourself my manSo much about this crazy game they call love / That I'm trying to understand
Take away the pressure on my mind / Really get to know youWhy can't I love you in slow motion / Take my time
But rewind / Wanna love you in slow motion / Why can't I
Some things a girl should never rush / Cause if you do you hurt yourselfYou seem to know just what you want / And I like your confidence
. . .
Don't wanna mess with your pride / The question is not when but whyI'm too young for tears in the night / And it's too soon for this to be right
. . .
But how to keep pace with the significant other? In other words, how can I know my partner's pace before conflict? The answer, of course, is continuous communication. When sticking to only the self-righteous opinions of themselves in the absence of interaction the difference between the rate of each other occurs, which would violate their time zone. Just as Peter Neidig, who has a master's degree in social work(M.S.W.), said that "honest dialogue that reveals his deep inner changes the situation", dialogue is necessary for the successful continuation of the relation and accounts for a significant proportion. In this sense, the challenge given to all couples is to know how to do appropriate conversation and practice it.- 'slow motion', by Karina(First Love, 2008.09.02).
Many people have accentuated the necessity of interaction with the significant others. Psychologists stay that the intoxicating feeling of being in love lasts only about 18 months to three years at most. However, a study conducted by psychologist Bianca Acevedo and biological anthropologist Helen Fisher found that it's possible to keep love alive in a long-term relationship. The key was continuous communication.
Other studies have proven that a good relationship offers medical benefits of lower stress levels, reduced risk of Alzheimer's, and even improves cancer survival rates.
Furthermore, Joshua Uebergang emphasized the importance of communication, saying "Communication is the relationship. Communication connects people. You can do neither when communication is nonexistent." in his essay. And Marie Willsey also mentioned on it like this: "How do you keep the romance alive? If there's a special person in your life, you know how important good communication is to staying close and keeping the fires of passion burning. Good communication skills are essential, whether you've been together for two months or 32 years."
Other studies have proven that a good relationship offers medical benefits of lower stress levels, reduced risk of Alzheimer's, and even improves cancer survival rates.
Furthermore, Joshua Uebergang emphasized the importance of communication, saying "Communication is the relationship. Communication connects people. You can do neither when communication is nonexistent." in his essay. And Marie Willsey also mentioned on it like this: "How do you keep the romance alive? If there's a special person in your life, you know how important good communication is to staying close and keeping the fires of passion burning. Good communication skills are essential, whether you've been together for two months or 32 years."
Here is a book named 'Maintaining relationships through communication: Relational, contextual, and cultural variations', highlighting the necessity of communication. In the work, Kathryn Dindia, one of the contributors, said that "to maintain a relationship, partners must communicate with one another... The end of the relationship occurs when people stop communicating... Communication is central to relationship maintenance." Take a closer look at the piece. It focused on the study of Kaplan, arguing the importance of communication. Kaplan(1975/1965) argued that "relationship partners need to understand what happens between them. Both individuals need to know what they think, feel, and expects of them." Here are excerpts from the piece:
Kaplan (1975/1976) listed two global and polar-opposite types of maintenance behaviors relevant to these three functions of relational maintenance. Maintenance-by-expression occurs when partners verbalize their feelings, their observations of the relationship, and the regulation of the interaction between them... Maintenance-by-suppression occurs when any direct discussion of mutual feelings, view of the relationship, or efforts to carry on in an orderly fashion is suppressed... Kaplan (1975/1976) argued that the expressive maintenance is better able to sustain relationships of high involvement over time than maintenance-by-suppression. According to Kaplan, "expressive maintenance provides a way of preserving a strong emotional bond and, in general, promotes closeness and satisfaction in a relationship" (p. 301).
Given the views of various figures, the condition of lasting romantic relationship is "interaction". Continuous dialogue protects your romantic relationship, remaining it as a contemporary love.
Evidently, this essay took an unconventional view and was being developed uniquely, so plenty of people are expected to refute my position. One of the probable counterarguments is that this one has scientific error.
Velocity of the observer must be nearing the speed of light in order to observe a noticeable effect of relativity of simultaneity. To carry my point I have applied the special theory of relativity; however, a discrepancy between the time be able to happen only under the assumption that time dilation occurs. It can be seen the observation on such an effect in the daily life is almost impossible for this reason. Furthermore, in the strict sense, the concept of "motion" in Einstein's theory only means the physical movement, not include the pace of mental communion or the timing of marriage and sex. Therefore, my opinion can sound like a sophism.
Velocity of the observer must be nearing the speed of light in order to observe a noticeable effect of relativity of simultaneity. To carry my point I have applied the special theory of relativity; however, a discrepancy between the time be able to happen only under the assumption that time dilation occurs. It can be seen the observation on such an effect in the daily life is almost impossible for this reason. Furthermore, in the strict sense, the concept of "motion" in Einstein's theory only means the physical movement, not include the pace of mental communion or the timing of marriage and sex. Therefore, my opinion can sound like a sophism.
Of course, these arguments are all shortsighted and overlook one of the ways to develop an essay: analogy. According to Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, Analogy is "a comparison between two objects, or systems of objects, that highlights respects in which they are thought to be similar," "widely recognized as playing an important heuristic role, as aids to discovery." "They have been employed, in a wide variety of settings and with considerable success, to generate insight and to formulate possible solutions to problems."
According to Joseph Priestley, a pioneer in chemistry and electricity,
The modern society is becoming more and more deserted as it becomes progressive, and under such context a trend that emphasizes the importance of the spiritual values spreads. Especially because the emotion of love is with a large force, we need to know for sure how to deal with it. However, judging by higher divorce rates and shorter dating period of modern society, people are seen to be unaware of the exact method. When the trend to downplay the spiritual values in society becomes rampant, and the members of society are unable to utilize them properly that society will be full of violence and cruelty, eventually sliding into catastrophe.
Process needed to cultivate love is not difficult or complex. The answer is ongoing communication and care, which would be the respect to each other, keeping pace of one another. I sincerely hope that more and more people realize this, and practice it. I believe, if so, that our society will be able to become emotionally richer, more desirable community than now.
Bibliography
analogy is our best guide in all philosophical investigations; all discoveries, which were not made by mere accident, have been made by the help of it. (1769/1966: 14)And the reason I suggested Einstein's theory of relativity as the rationale of this essay, of course, was the purpose to give a convincing and novelty in my argument, using deployment method called analogy. Consequently, the claim that my opinion is wrong because it has an error scientifically cannot make a sense in this case.
The modern society is becoming more and more deserted as it becomes progressive, and under such context a trend that emphasizes the importance of the spiritual values spreads. Especially because the emotion of love is with a large force, we need to know for sure how to deal with it. However, judging by higher divorce rates and shorter dating period of modern society, people are seen to be unaware of the exact method. When the trend to downplay the spiritual values in society becomes rampant, and the members of society are unable to utilize them properly that society will be full of violence and cruelty, eventually sliding into catastrophe.
Process needed to cultivate love is not difficult or complex. The answer is ongoing communication and care, which would be the respect to each other, keeping pace of one another. I sincerely hope that more and more people realize this, and practice it. I believe, if so, that our society will be able to become emotionally richer, more desirable community than now.
Bibliography
- http://izquotes.com/quote/68096
- http://www.tumblr.com/search/love+is+the+one+thing+that+transcends+time+and+space
- http://article.joins.com/news/article/article.asp?total_id=273898
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein
- http://www.space.com/17661-theory-general-relativity.html
- Address/ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_relativity
- http://music.naver.com/lyric/index.nhn?trackId=2121612
- http://book.daum.net/detail/book.do?bookid=KOR9788997827244
- http://www.oprah.com/relationships/How-to-Make-Romance-Last-Helen-Fisher-Love-Column_1
- http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Importance-of-Communication-in-Relationships,-Love,-and-Romance&id=1980565
- http://health.howstuffworks.com/relationships/tips/5-communication-tips-for-romantic-relationships.htm
- Daniel J. Canary, Marianne Dainton, "Maintaining Relationships Through Communication: Relational, Contextual, and Cultural Variations", Routledge, Jan 30, 2003 - Language Arts & Disciplines.
- https://www.fourmilab.ch/documents/RelativityOfSimultaneity/
- http://blog.naver.com/tkdguq88/90026383586
- http://physics.info/motion/
- http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/reasoning-analogy/
